coming home

This blog post is to update everyone about my decision to come home from South Korea earlier than I had originally planned. For those who just want the short version: I fractured my foot in the beginning of May, fell on a wet stair while trying to go up on my crutches in the beginning of June and had to get five stitches in my knee, and made the decision to come home after that second injury made it impossible for me to return to work. I'll be arriving home on June 11th to receive medical care, spend time with family and friends, and try to figure out what to do next.

And now for the details, for those who want to know more specifically what happened and how I arrived at my decision.

When I visited Jeju Island in the beginning of May, I fell and twisted my ankle and fractured a bone in my right foot. I came home on crutches, took three days off from work to rest up, and returned to work the following week. I had to take a taxi to work every day, since it was too far for me to walk on crutches. The first week or so that I was taking taxis to work, I would ask the ahjussi (older man) who works as a security guard in my building to call a taxi on the phone for me, since he knows the exact location of the apartment complex and he can call in Korean. It would always be a little confusing to get a taxi to come. First, we didn't know what number to call. Then when we ended up on the phone with the right person, sometimes they couldn't send a taxi for half an hour or longer. I could tell he was getting frustrated with having to help me. After several days of asking for his help, the security guard simply told me "I no call". With that option off the table, I was left with the option of "walking" (more like "crutching"!) out to the street every day from my building at the back of the apartment complex to catch a taxi (about a 5-minute walk when I'm able-bodied, but about a 15-minute walk on the crutches). 

My classroom was on the third floor of my school, so I hopped up two flights of stairs every day for three and a half weeks. I had to sit down at my desk to teach in order to keep my leg elevated, which came with its own set of challenges. The students seemed to know that they could get away with things if they sat at the back of the classroom, away from my desk. I know they weren't intentionally trying to give me a hard time, but their behavior got worse when I was having to teach that way. 

I had to go for weekly doctor appointments to have checkups done on my foot. This involved hopping out to the street to get a taxi, going to the clinic by myself, and trying to understand the doctor's comments between his basic English and my very, very basic Korean skills. My coworker took me to the doctor twice, but the rest of the time I was on my own. It was so frustrating and lonely to have to go to the doctor alone and try to understand what was going on with my injury every week.

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During the whole month of May, I went out maybe two times. Other than that, I just went from home, to work, and back home again. One evening in the first week of June, I called up my friend Suzanne and asked if she would meet me for dinner in Gangnam, because I just couldn't stand the thought of staying in my apartment one more evening by myself. I took a taxi to Gangnam Station, and we found a restaurant to go to. There were just three stairs up into the restaurant, which seemed manageable. I was using my crutches to help me hop up the stairs, but one of the stairs was slippery since it had been raining that day. I fell on my right knee (yes, that's the leg that was already injured!), and ended up with a pretty good gash across my knee. The restaurant staff came out to help, and a random passerby gave us some wet wipes. Suzanne ran down the street to get antiseptic and bandages from the convenience store. I was focused on cleaning up the cut, so I didn't see what was going on. But she came back empty-handed and said one of the restaurant staff chased her down and stopped her from buying anything, and said she would get the stuff herself at a nearby pharmacy. It was so nice of her! We hobbled into the restaurant, and I bandaged my knee. We still enjoyed our dinner and had a nice talk. But by the time I got home that night, I knew I needed more than just a big bandaid. I texted my friend Barb from home and asked her whether I should be icing my knee (since I could tell it was pretty bruised) and asked how much ibuprofen I could take. She asked for a picture, and when she saw how my knee looked, she said I needed to get to the hospital and get stitches right away. 

Cue the dramatic music...this could not get any worse! I called Sagar and asked if he could come and take me to the ER. His brother was here visiting, and Sagar said his friend Amit could drive the two of them down to pick me up and take me to the hospital. This conversation happened at about midnight, and they came to pick me up by about 2am. We got the emergency room, and they were able to take us in pretty much right away. Sagar's brother didn't want to be in the emergency room because he can't stand the sight of blood, but Sagar and Amit came in with me. The hospital staff did an x-ray and confirmed that nothing was fractured in my knee, and then they set out to put in the stitches. Sagar sat with me, held my hand, and talked to me during the whole thing. We talked about TV shows, places we want to travel to, food, books, and whatever else we could think of to keep the conversation going so I could keep my mind off of the fact that my knee was being stitched together. We got a game going with Amit where we asked each other questions about capitals of countries, world currencies, the world's youngest country, the first country where women could vote, and so on. I was so grateful to have them there to distract me and help me through that painful experience. The doctor on duty turned out to be an intern, and the supervising doctor wasn't happy with two of the stitches that he made, so they had to undo and redo two of the stitches. I'm so grateful that Amit was there, because he speaks Korean really well and was able to translate while they explained how to care for my stitches at home, what medicines I have to take, and how long it would be until I could bend my leg. And of course I was so glad to have Sagar with me! Even though he can't stand the sight of blood either, he stayed with me the whole time and kept me calm. They dropped me off at home again around 5:30am. What a night.

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With the knowledge that I wouldn't be able to bend my leg for 2-3 weeks, I started to think about how on earth I would be able to return to work, hopping up two flights of stairs every day. I knew it wasn't possible to use a classroom on the first floor, but I also knew I couldn't continue with what I had been doing for the past few weeks. The reality started to set in that I might not be able to return to work at all. 

After lots of time spent on the phone and on Skype with my parents and friends, I decided to resign from my job and come home to get healed up. This was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make, because obviously I didn't intend to leave Korea in the middle of my contract. I had so many more things I wanted to do and see, I wanted to become more proficient in Korean, and there are still some Korean friends that I know from Western that I haven't able to meet up with in the eight months that I have been here. It breaks my heart to have to leave in this kind of situation, but I truly believe it's the best thing for me right now. 

I intend to return to Korea in the future, after my leg is healed completely. To my friends that I didn't get to see or say goodbye to, I hope you understand that this was not the way I would have wanted to leave. I promise to come back so we can be reunited! To my kids, who I didn't get to say goodbye to (and who of course won't be able to read this post), I'm so sorry that I didn't get to explain why I had to leave, say goodbye, and hug each and every one of you. Remember that it's "rock, paper, scissors", not "rock, scissor, paper", and if you tease your friends, you have Alyssa Teacher to answer to. And to my friends and family at home, thank you so much for your support and understanding, and for welcoming me home with open arms. I appreciate everyone's help and encouragement in this difficult time.

I am flying out from Korea on Wednesday, June 11th, around 10am, and I will arrive home on Wednesday, June 11th, around 9am. Time travel! I will not be able to say goodbye to everyone in person in Korea, and I will not be able to see everyone at home right away. But please keep in contact if you would like to talk, Skype, or meet up! <3